First 1/2 brought to you by Samuel L. Jackson

A FANTASTIC FRIDAY GIF! DO THIS AT THE NEXT WEDDING YOU GO TO (FAGET):

http://i.imgur.com/JRw00G1.gif

THIS MOTHAFUCKING MEME MADE ME LOL LIKE A LIL' BITCH
http://www.livememe.com/55gkiv5.jpg

MOTHAFUCKING TWITTER IPO! SAY WHAT AGAIN MOTHA FUCKA, I DARE YOU
http://www.buzzfeed.com/matthewzeitlin/twitter-announces-its-going-public-in-a-tweet

THIS MOTHAFUCKIN BITCH MAKES YOUR PROPOSAL LOOK LIKE A LITTLE BITCH
http://gawker.com/utah-man-proposes-to-boyfriend-in-lumber-aisle-of-home-1303984667

THIS KID WILL PUT YOU IN YOUR PLACE
http://hypervocal.com/vids/2013/kid-curse-vine/

TIM & ERIC GET WIERD IN A BOYS HOUSE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8seBdmvufi8

REBUTTAL TO PUTIN'S MOTHAFUCKING OP-ED
http://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/dana-milbank-what-americans-have-to-say-to-putin/2013/09/12/e6952c36-1be9-11e3-a628-7e6dde8f889d_story.html?hpid=z2

THIS SHIT IS NOT FROM PORTLANDIA - YA DIG?  THIS BE REAL LIFE
 http://nypost.com/2013/09/13/dj-class-for-babies-in-brooklyn/

THIS CATERPILLAR'S WALLET SAYS "BADASS MOTHERFUCKER"
http://io9.com/a-guide-to-the-ravenous-hellbeast-that-is-the-carnivoro-1032957256

JUDGE NOT LEST YE BE JUDGED!
http://www.abajournal.com/news/article/judge_who_had_sex_with_witness_in_chambers_and_lied_under_oath_should_be_re/

Apple No Longer Innovates, Says the Man Who Helped Steve Jobs Design the Mac
http://www.theatlanticwire.com/technology/2013/09/apple-no-longer-innovative-says-man-who-helped-steve-jobs-design-mac/69334/

Aussies win Ig Nobel with stargazing beetles
http://www.australiangeographic.com.au/journal/an-ig-nobel-prize-awarded-to-aussies.htm

Scathing obit about abusive NV mother goes viral
http://wtop.com/209/3450707/Scathing-obit-about-mother-goes-viral

Shark attacks feared in Hawaii after molasses spill
http://www.theguardian.com/world/2013/sep/13/shark-attack-feared-hawaii-molasses

Can't wait until online poker is legal (and legit) again.
http://www.businessinsider.com/as-more-states-legalize-online-gambling-it-will-become-safer-2013-9

GoT characters being real people
http://www.buzzfeed.com/lyapalater/times-the-cast-of-game-of-thrones-was-totally-out-of-char

LEMURS, DAWG
http://newswatch.nationalgeographic.com/2013/09/04/could-people-hibernate-lemurs-give-clues/

35 awesome breaking bad photos
http://www.buzzfeed.com/daves4/35-pictures-that-will-change-the-way-you-look-at-breaking-ba

I'm sure these parents wanted to straight up murder the babysitter:
http://news.yahoo.com/dog-helps-alert-parents-to-abusive-babysitter-164358493.html

Photographer on a bike crashes into Nicole Kidman:
http://www.tmz.com/2013/09/13/nicole-kidman-paparazzo-bicycle-bike-crash-video/

Congressman: I Once Lost A Drunken Arm-Wrestling Match To Vladimir Putin
http://www.buzzfeed.com/andrewkaczynski/congressman-i-once-lost-a-drunken-arm-wrestling-match-to-vla

BUG OUT HAUNTED HOUSE IN NYC READ THE RULES
http://www.blackouthh.com/rules

20 of the First Photographs of Things - http://hyperallergic.com/83097/20-of-the-first-photographs-of-things-from-people-to-hoaxes-to-the-moon/

Slide the bar under the map:
http://www.census.gov/dataviz/visualizations/019/

Florida overrun with herpes-infected feral monkeys
http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2013/09/13/florida-overrun-with-herpes-infected-feral-monkeys/

Key & Peele's College Bowl Bit Is Back
http://deadspin.com/key-peeles-college-bowl-bit-is-back-1309086285

Lamar Odom charged with DUI
http://espn.go.com/los-angeles/nba/story/_/id/9669295/lamar-odom-charged-dui-los-angeles