How am i not myself?

Encouraging intercourse in Germany

http://www.nytimes.com/2013/08/14/world/europe/germany-fights-population-drop.html

Knife-wielding burglar bruised and battered by 72-year-old retired boxer
http://www.guns.com/2013/08/09/knife-wielding-burglar-bruised-and-battered-by-72-year-old-retired-boxer/

Sam Horowitz - Live at the Omni Hotel in Dallas  (bar mitzvah dance of a fabulous boy)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g-ByhUDUllM

I am usually abreast of all things Sandwich, but this is news to me
http://www.buzzfeed.com/jessicamisener/publix-subs-are-the-most-delicious-thing-to-ever-happen-on-e

I really like this LOLZ photo: Eggcellent
http://thechive.files.wordpress.com/2013/08/animals-thechive-29.jpg

Man with OCD Blows Internet Away with Hauntingly Stirring Love Poem
http://gawker.com/man-with-ocd-blows-internet-away-with-hauntingly-stirri-1111560858

'Elysium'-like exoskeletons in real life
http://www.cnn.com/video/data/2.0/video/bestoftv/2013/08/13/lead-pkg-elysium.cnn.html

Soccer-Michael Jackson to play alongside John Lennon, Mahatma Gandhi
http://sports.yahoo.com/news/soccer-michael-jackson-play-alongside-john-lennon-mahatma-150145283.html

OOPS: US concealed gun safety teacher shoots student
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-23691146

A hacker was able to shout abuse at a two-year-old child by exploiting a vulnerability in a camera advertised as an ideal "baby monitor". http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-23693460

The 35 Best Times Someone On Facebook Thought 'The Onion' Was Real
http://thoughtcatalog.com/2013/the-35-best-times-someone-on-facebook-thought-the-onion-was-real/#hBwWrBXfu3rZcbKe.01
(this link makes me fear the future...)

Fierljeppen. Leave your wellies at home and grab a pole. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YP32iWoqjnQ

The Ten Most Ambitious Failed Utopian Mass Transit Systems
http://jalopnik.com/the-ten-most-ambitious-failed-utopian-mass-transit-syst-1135019271

Enter Wolf: http://twitpic.com/d856sn

RGIII rehabs in local man's pool
http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/dc-sports-bog/wp/2013/08/14/rgiii-rehabs-in-local-mans-pool/

A bunch of cool world Maps. #22 -- Damn, they bang mad early in Scandanavia...
http://twistedsifter.com/2013/08/maps-that-will-help-you-make-sense-of-the-world/

Parents Projected to Spend $241,080 to Raise a Child Born in 2012, According to USDA Report
http://content.govdelivery.com/accounts/USDAOC/bulletins/8729ae

Anchorman Ron Burgundy writes 'tell all autobiography'
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-23693501

Solid song from a really young Chicago band:
http://www.npr.org/blogs/allsongs/2013/07/25/205534455/first-watch-the-orwells-who-needs-you

Latina Mom fight!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5LjrstHXoFY#at=43

New Sandwich spot in NYC melts Bro-Dicks!
http://www.thrillist.com/eat/new-york/murray-hill/mayhem-stout-mayhem-stout-storefront

Great GIF! OH BOY!
http://i.imgur.com/SR68Ewp.gif

The 50 Most Perfectly Timed Photos Ever
http://twistedsifter.com/2013/03/most-perfectly-timed-photos-ever/

Online Dating for Gluten-free singles
http://www.glutenfreesingles.com/

hahahaha, to all my friends with First-Generation Immigrant parents (especially Indian Bros)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rdiRVB_p1-k

Semi-NSFW
These Liquid Lapdance Pants Store Your Jizz, Prevent Unsightly Stains
http://jezebel.com/these-liquid-lapdance-pants-store-your-jizz-prevent-un-1138889213
Video is NSFW: http://www.liquidlapdance.com/products/liquid-lapdance-trade

 A literal blond bombshell: http://wtop.com/541/3421635/Blond-Bombshell

Condom maker breaks down penis size by state, city
http://www.dailyfinance.com/2010/03/26/condom-maker-breaks-down-penis-size-by-state-city/  (DC is #2)

Women's MMA knockout of the year: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KFKrX7BYy_Y